365 Day Mood Project

For me, sleep is the building block on which everything else sits. If I don’t sleep well, I’m in a bad mood, I don’t eat well, I don’t hydrate, I don’t mentally function, my skin looks bad, I’M A TERROR.

I LOVE SLEEP. If I existed in a totally stress-free state, I could sleep for 12 to 14 hours. One time when I was a kid, my brother tried to wake me up from sleep to go to a Harry Potter midnight showing, and I threatened to rip his arms off.

DO. NOT. MESS. WITH. MY. SLEEP.

So imagine how annoyed I am when I can only sleep 5 hours a night. That’s where I’m at right now. UNACCEPTABLE!

So on Day 5, we’re working on getting my sleep back in order.

Now, this is not the first time that my sleep has gone all funky. Here are the things we’re going to address:

1. Environment
   
2. Substances (the good and the bad)
   
3. Routine
   

Environment

This is a princess and the pea situation for me, and frankly, it’s a little crazy. So I’m just going to tell you everything I do, and you can pick and choose things that might help you. Here we go:

The temperature

A million years ago, I read this article from the Sleep Foundation that said that the best temperature for adults to sleep at is between 65-68°F for thermoregulation. I sleep at 69 usually (nice) and it for sure makes a difference. When I don’t crank the temperature down, I’m not sleeping.

The Bed

If you can get a good, supportive mattress, great. If that’s not in your budget, turn your mattress every 3 to 6 months. It’s going to make your mattress last longer. If you’re at a stage in your depression where you’re like “ok buddy, that’s not happening”, that is totally ok.

For me, the sheets and how the bed is dressed are more important. It should be cozy and relaxing.

The one thing that changed the game for me, though? A body pillow.

During my best friend’s pregnancy, she had one of these U-shaped body pillow things and said to me, “You’ve gotta try this”, and you know what? She was absolutely right.

I’m a side sleeper, and I could never get comfortable. With the body pillow, I hug it and put it between my knees. My hips have never felt better, because my legs aren’t at unnatural angles all night.

substances (for lack of a better word, we’re categorizing, ok???)

Alcohol

As you’ve probably deduced, I’m obsessive about my sleep. I even bought a fitbit so I could make sure I was getting enough REM sleep (you do not have to do this, I am just a nutter). One thing I noticed was that after going out and drinking, my REM sleep was nonexistent. Even though I might have conked out hard, I felt like garbage in the morning. Turns out that’s a real thing and if you’re interested in the why, here’s another article from the Sleep Foundation.

If you’re drinking before bed, maybe take a break and see how you feel.

fats

No, I’m not about to tell you to cut out fat from your diet. In fact, I’m about to tell you the opposite. I used to have a really bad habit (and sometimes still do if I’m not mindful about it) of waking up a lot in the night. It used to frustrate the shit out of me.

What I discovered after some intense googling is that I might have been waking up due to something called “nighttime hypoglycemia”. Basically, low blood sugar at night. Because I was working out late at night or wasn’t eating enough healthy fats during the day, my body kept waking me up at night to yell at me, “HEY EAT SOMETHING!” I just wasn’t picking up the clues.

So, if you’re a person who wakes up in the middle of the night a lot, try eating a scoop of peanut butter, an avocado, or drinking some milk. This might not be your issue, but when you’re sleepless, why not give it a shot?

Magnesium Glycinate

As with anything supplement-related or medication-related, always check with your doctor, but this vitamin? Adding this to my nighttime routine improved my sleep quality like nothing else. Now I don’t know the full science on this, but from what I understand, it helps to relax the body and regulate circadian rhythm, so you get better sleep? Here‘s the whole article from NIH if you’re the person who wants THE FULL FACTS. I am an art history major, so most of this went over my head, but what I understood was “magnesium make sleep good”. I tried it, and for me it works.

tHE Silver BULLET – BENADRYL

Again – TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR ABOUT YOUR MEDS, MY PRECIOUS BABIES.

When I was at the HEIGHT of my sleeplessness, I talked to my doctor about potentially going on some sleep meds. She recommended to me that if it wasn’t a regular issue, try taking a Benadryl. For emergencies? Goddamit, it works.

Now, am I suggesting you rely on this? ABSOLUTELY NOT. But when you’re in the depths of despair, and you need ONE GODDAMN NIGHT OF SLEEP? Do you what you’ve gotta do.

Routine

Now, in that same appointment where my doctor brought up Benadryl, she also brought up “sleep hygiene”. Basically, sleep hygiene includes some of the stuff we’ve already covered, but also a consistent schedule you do to get yourself ready for bed.

I first heard this and went “ew”. I didn’t like it then, and in all honesty, I don’t like it now. It sounds like a chore.

UNFORTUNATELY, it does work. I know. I hate it too. I’ve been slacking on this, which is probably why my sleep has been TRASH.

So here’s the routine we’re going to get back into so we can feel like a human again instead of three sloths in a trench coat.

1. Change into pajamas
   
   I’m that bitch who loves a matching pajama set, and they do help me when I’m depressed. First off, it ensures that I’ve changed what’s on my body at least once during the day. Second, you feel cute. When you’re depressed, it’s about injecting small moments of joy into your life where you can in the easiest ways possible.
   
   
2. Have some tea
   
   Pick a decaf option. I like peppermint personally, but whatever feels special enough that you’ll do it. The point of this is to make bedtime whimsical and fun.
   
   
3. Brush your teeth and wash your face
   
   Hygiene is tough when you’re depressed, so just do what you can here. I’ve gotten to the stage where flossing, mouthwash, and a brush feel simple, but I did NOT start there. Only have mouthwash in you? Great, do it. Whatever you’ve got in the tank.
   
   *pro-tip, if you choose peppermint tea as your evening tea of choice, it has antibacterial properties, so you’re working on your oral health with your cute cup of tea.
   
   As for washing your face, for me, skincare feels like a mini spa day. I really enjoy it, so it feels easier to do. If that’s not you and you’ve got nothing in the tank, swipe a Neutrogena cloth over your face and call it a day. Make it work for you and where you’re at.
   
   
4. Evening yoga
   
   I always forget this, but sometimes I’ll be in bed, wondering why I can’t go the hell to sleep. In those times, I’ll get up, foam roll my back, and immediately knock out. If my body is tight, I’m not sleeping.
   
   A while ago, I discovered this yin yoga evening playlist on YouTube, and it helped me sleep better. Maybe it’ll help you too.
   
   
5. Read a book, listen to a podcast, or watch a show
   
   This is just about winding down. Now, I’m sure watching a show is going to be controversial. Where does that come from?
   
   FOR ME, I have to have some noise when I sleep. I have ADHD in addition to depression, so this may be an ADHD thing, but if I’m in complete silence, my brain cannot shut the fuck up. The way I handle it is by having a comfort show on in the background at a very low volume that I know well enough that I’m not going to pay too much attention to it, but I relax. It’s about splitting my mind enough so that I don’t get hyperfixated on one thing.
   
   You could try a white noise machine as a “healthier” alternative. Those never worked for me, because I could identify the pattern in the recording, so my brain would lock in on when I knew it would start all over again. I would just stay awake, waiting for the loop.
   
   So now, I listen to TV shows because I know I’m not going to do that. As I’ve mentioned before, when dealing with depression, screw rules. There’s no “could”, “would”, “should”, there’s just what works for you.

As always, adapt everything to you. What can you handle today? One thing? All of it? It’s all about baby steps. Do what you feel you have the energy for.

On Day 5, we’re GETTING SOME GODDAMN SLEEP. And with that, I’m out. Keep it pushing. Love you, mean it.